I checked my fiance into Rehab last week. I am so proud of him and so happy to see him get the help he needs to live a happy, healthy, sober life. However, I am a mess! I cry all day long from missing him. I turn the tv on and see a show we watch together and I can't watch it. I make dinner and cry because he's not here to eat with me. I feel so alone. Everyone keeps saying not to focus on right now, and focus on the end result. I REALIZE that, and I am TRYING! But that doesn't make it any easier. I'm used to picking up the phone to hear his voice any time I want. Sending him texts just to say I love you. I can't do that. I can't hear his voice. I can't go jump in his arms. I can't function. I don't know who is having the more difficult time with this. I mean, atleast he gets medicated for his withdrawals from alchohol. I'm so lost!!!! I love my fiance from the bottom of my heart and I want nothing more than to see him healthy and happy, but I also want him home with me. How do you cope? It's only 30 days. It's not a lifetime, but it certainly feels like it is! :( Please help.
today is the next step in the journey......paw
Hi there!
A meeting sounds good PAW! If she doesn't want to do that though, maybe she needs to pick up a hobby. Painting, reading, drawing, exercising, going on walks, journaling or writing poetry. Make at least one or two nights a week to do something like that. Maybe just go out with your friends one night a week. Let us know how you are doing!
Peace be with you!
Ann
Thank you both for your reply's. This is just harder than I ever could have imagined. When he said he was going to check in I was so proud of him, and ready to get him over to the center ASAP. I am still super super proud, but it is so hard to get through each day without hearing his voice, being able to tell him I love him and miss him, etc... It's now that I realized how much we all take for granted when we can pick up a telephone to hear someones voice anytime you want. To be able to text "I love you", to recieve that same reply's back... He's not dead, he'll be home eventually. I keep telling myself that, but it still is such a struggle. I started a journal last night on my computer and I just typed for hours and hours.... I guess thats one way to get feelings off my chest so I can breathe. I can't let him know how much I'm hurting either, because I know that will just throw him off track and he needs to focus on him, not me. So instead I call my family and his family with my emotions and I think even they want to check me into a psych ward now! Hoping this gets better and easier. I am supposed to be going to see him on Sunday. He is allowed to see me for 2 hours. I have to keep myself together for that visitation. I can't get him down because he is doing soo well. I don't want him to know I'm having such a difficult time with him gone. I want him to focus on what he needs to do without worrying about whats going on at home. I love him with all my heart. Never never never did I ever see any of this coming.
Greetings Jwhitney:
It can be very difficult to be separated from a loved one, but it helps to keep things in perspective. When I am in these situations I just keep reminding myself for instance, that 30 days is better than 120 days, etc...It is a temporary situation and you are strong enough to handle anything for a little while. I am using this philosophy daily while my son serves in Afghanistan.
Have you read anything about codependency? it sounds as though this may be an issue for you, and if it is, you should start trying out some Alanon meetings. This will get you out of the house for a while and get you around other people who can understand the feelings you are experiencing right now. What area do you live in?
Remember to take care of you! Do something wonderful for yourself. Get your nails done, soak in a luxurious bath, treat yourself to something special....
Hang in there, it gets better........
Melody