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Does this make any sense?

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NEMom Posted: Fri, Jul 30 2010 11:12 PM

Hello,

I have a 24 y/o daughter who has been struggling with addiction to heroin. First it was Oxycontin, then snorting heroin, and since April this year, shooting it. She was 3 classes short of graduating college when she got herself addicted. She was recently admitted to a psych/addictions unit, detoxed then stepped down to a one week program in a residential setting. Today she was transferred to a 'holding' where she can stay a week or two while we find a 30+ day program. My husband and I are working people who cannot afford a real expensive place, and our insurance limits most of the drug rehab treatment.

My daughter is asking that we find a place in California because she believes being really far away will be better... I am worried about such a plan.. though I understand her need to be away from this area, I think going a state or two a way makes more sense. She hopes to eventually wind up in a sober house and be able to get back into the community, finish school and find a job. She believes she'd like to live in California- start life over.

Does going that far away make sense, or does it matter? She cannot find a place easily from the 'hold facility' she is at now.. due to limited access to the telephone and no access to a computer.

Thank you for any advice... I am new to this (didn't realize how bad she was until this past spring... and feel overwhelmed. I am an psychiatric RN but it's different working with a family member opposed to a stranger.. hard to be objective )

New England Mom

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MichaelJ replied on Sat, Jul 31 2010 10:41 AM

I have never been to a treatment centre although I interacted with fellow addicts while I was in a detox several times. In my opinion it is better to get away from your immediate area for a change of location, different people. She is going to meet people in the same boat whether it be in California or a state where it is cheaper for you and your husband. She is very lucky in the sense that she has parents that care and can/ will help her. If she gets into recovery she can move to California then. Unfortunately, nobody knows where the road she's on will lead at this point, try to save where you can and do lots of research before deciding. Good luck.

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ANN replied on Sat, Jul 31 2010 11:21 AM

Hi there!

  No, it doesn't make sense.  Moving that far away from home is a hugh change!  You need to research crime rate, weather, housing cost, are there jobs in the area?, are there gangs in the area?  Is she ready for wildfires,earthquakes,mudslides,high tides?  Lot of pollution out here, especially in L.A. County.  You need to look at a lot of these things before dropping her off!

  I believe everything she needs to learn, she can learn in your own backyard or somewhere closer to home.  I am originally from the Midwest, and living in Southern California is a hugh change!  I am only 2,000 miles away from my original home and I miss it, she would be a lot farther away!

Peace be with you!

Ann

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paw replied on Sat, Jul 31 2010 6:35 PM

Hi NEMom and welcome to the site.  Now this is coming from Granny living with an 18 yr old boy.  No formal education, widowed and on my own, living on very little financially.  And what I'm going to say may not set well with others.  

If she REALLY wants to get clean/sober, it won't matter where she is.  She can be in the most expensive place money can buy, or living out of a cardboard box.  If she wants it, she'll achieve it.  I'm sure there are places out there.

 I would attend a couple of Alanon or Naranon meetings and find out word of mouth what some of those families recommend.  Maybe even attend a couple of 'open' AA or NA meetings and ask where some of those people went for help.  Personally I wouldn't encourage her to go that far away.  But that's this recovering alkie's humble opinion. 

today is the next step in the journey......paw

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Welcome to the forum!

I don't believe that California would be in her best interest.  In my early recovery, it was the support given from my family that seemed to keep things together for me.  There were many times that I needed help with things, and got the help from those close to me.  If I were to be living in a different state, you may find yourself vulnerable to other crowds.    Also the potential loneliness may also act as a trigger.

Living a happy, joyous, and free life by embracing the mind, body, and spirit.

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