Hi all, I am looking for support from people who have been in similar situation as me. My fiance was court ordered to a 2 year drug rehab and although I am very happy he is getting the help he needs, I must admit I think 2 years is a little steep. We have 2 children together and since we are not married we are not allowed any communication for thefirst 6 months. We have already gotten through the first 3 months but I have to admit this is severely making me depressed. I miss him so much and would just love to hear his voice and know that he is really ok. He is in Recovery Ventures iin NC. Has anyone ever heard of this place? If so I would love to hear from ou, even if you have not and now of someone that has been in a long term rehab I would love some feedbac about visits and such...Thank you all for listening!
today is the next step in the journey......paw
Hello and welcome to the family! My son was court ordered to a TC (Therapeutic Community) for a year and it definitely was because the court and medical/psychiatric team also thought that(23 year old IV Heroin USER,) he needed it.He never made the year,which just really validated that he still needed more help.He went back to jail and then ended up in another program.By the grace of God he is in recovery now but its one day at a time for him and us.I joined a support group Naranon and still attend over 3 years later(giving back what was freely given to me).It helped myself and my family learn the tools of "detaching with love"I also am an addict in recovery.After a period of time,there will be visiting and communication etc but don't project there.Once he leaves the facility the real work will beging.Unfortunately there is no graduation from addiction,it is a physical ,mental and spiritual sickness....I would suggest finding a support group for yourself and let you husbands process take due course.kEEP COMING BACK HERE AND LET US KNOW HOW ITS GOING..They have family days,tours,picnics etc but just take 'today for today".You want your husband back "working recovery" or else your life will still be devastation and you know the rest..Trust in a Higher Power than yourself as your husband will also have to find his way thru tools and surrender .Keep the faith ..I do wish you peace.
MIKE F
Thanls all for your support and guidance, I live in NC. The place where he is at has told me also to attend AA/NA meetings and I do plan on doing that. We have been together for almost 11 years and the courts sent him to this facility because he failed drug tess while onn probation. I will be the first he needed help and he admits that also, but how do you explain to children their Daddy is gone for two years without telling them everything, because they don't now, he never used around them.
I guess what I am really scared about is I am afraid with them having him for 2 years that they will like brainwash him and he will turn into this person that does not want to come back to his family, I have heard these kind of stories about long term rehabs,. I know sounds lame and very insecure of me, I want to help him without enabling him because I do love him very much!
Hello DMCPOW10!
Welcome to this site. ( A late welcome from me.) If you start attending meetings, I believe you will have a better understanding of what your Fiance is going through. Get phone numbers for support at the meetings. A lot of people want their loved ones/friends to come out of treatment and detox a perfect person. This rarely happens. You need to leave him in there so he can realize he has a problem and he is the one who is wrong some of the time. People are in those places so they can learn how to and why they need to change. They are in a place they can talk where other people know what they are going through, and they won't be judged. Sometimes people need some space so they can fix things.
The reason people think we get brainwashed is because they feel left behind. Sometimes when we get better we realize that some of our friends and family aren't the best people to hang out with when we are recovering. We need someone who respects the fact that we would like to be sober. You can always make amends with these people later. He needs to get better before he trys to take on any kind of relationship!
Keep coming back!
Ann
Aw shucks Paw im turning red and gratefully its not from alcohol poisoning!!!!:) Thanks for the kind words I also am helped daily by this family here sharing there heartfelt journey thru life.We have all been given the gift of life and it is only fitting that we try and 'PAY IT FORWARD"!As we think of each other at different times in our lives we know that we never have to do this alone again,thats what family is and I am defintely blessed to have landed here!!! Talk to ya on the rebound
Welcome to the site. Your problem is actually somewhat common. I have personally known two families within the last two years that have experienced something similar. I believe the above advice is good. Just say that he is getting some help right now. I don't think children will ask too many questions. In my own case, my sister was seven at the time, and my parents told her I was getting help for migraines! Eventually, they told her the entire situation, but I believe it was until they were comfortable with the reality of the situation.
Go to meetings, try to get some family counseling, and let him focus on his sobriety at this time!
Glad you found us. Clint
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