logo     

I need some advice...

rated by 0 users
This post has 14 Replies | 0 Followers

Top 500 Contributor
Posts 9
Points 165
jlkady Posted: Wed, Nov 25 2009 3:19 PM

I am a single father of a 16 yearl old girl....I love her more than thing in this world.....I am an alcoholic....I have been drinking now for 20 years....I can't stop!!!! I try like hell and i lose the battle everytime....I cannot check into a rehab center Because i need my job.... ICant run to family because they have there own issues...I'm sick of this and it's gotta stop before i'm dead....I need some advice?I am so sick of this feeling of detox i do it atleast twice a month and everytime it gets worse....Please someone help me with some good advice? Thank you

  • | Post Points: 80
Top 500 Contributor
Female
Posts 7
Points 260
Praxilla replied on Wed, Nov 25 2009 7:25 PM

I am currently in something called Daytox - it's more flexible than residential treatment, as you can come between certain hours and thus hold a job while "detoxing".  Is there anything comparable in your area?  Talking to your doctor about your options would be best for your health and safety.

  • | Post Points: 20
Top 10 Contributor
Female
Posts 4,915
Points 46,130
paw replied on Wed, Nov 25 2009 7:28 PM

First let me welcome you to the site.  You're reaching out and that's a great step forward.  

Having said that, let me say this, you have to want it.  Honestly it won't work if you don't.  I understand about you needing your job.  Times are tough all over.  

Do you have a doctor you can talk to?  If you're having problems detoxing, it's always good to have a professional around.  I was lucky, although I detoxed in a facility,  I had no problems.  Is there clergy around you might talk to for support? Have you gone to any AA meetings?  Face to face support is great in early recovery.  They've walked the same path before you.  Get phone numbers, and use them when you get down or feel the need to drink or talk. 

You need to force yourself to eat lightly at first.  Drink plenty of water, juices and broth.  In about 72 hours the booze is out of your system, then you're left with the mental part.  And that can be tough.  You have to keep your mind busy.  If you have read some of the other posts there are all kinds of suggestions.  Walk, draw, journaling, paint, read, have family or friends over that don't drink and put in a movie.  Go to a movie, exercise, clean.  Anything to help you spend time and energy.  I had a little problem getting to sleep for a couple of weeks and part of that was that I didn't have my 'sleep' medicine anymore.  That's why expending energy is important if you're having that problem.  

Remember YOU CAN DO IT  and  YOU ARE WORTH IT......Stay in touch and let us know how your'e doing......

today is the next step in the journey......paw

  • | Post Points: 20
Top 25 Contributor
Male
Posts 436
Points 6,985
MIKEF replied on Wed, Nov 25 2009 7:35 PM

Hello jkady! Welcome to the forum.I also am an addict and I drank and drugged for 25 years until I finally surrendered.Although you say you need your job,if your life is unmanageable and you are powerless over your addiction I believe that is most important issue you may want to tackle above all other things.This disease will eventually lead you to jails ,institutions or death..You love you daughter more than anything else in the world and there is the dilemma in a sense.You will have to learn to love yourself enough to get help you need.Have you tried AA or thought about a sponsor?You can stop! but it takes work,and its one day at a time.If you are in jail or dead your job wont really matter anyway.Total surrender is necessary and then you can ask yourself do you believe now or are you willing to believe in a higher power than yourself? If so,you can be on your way to putting your trust in something other than you!!!We dont realy give advise we suggest what worked for us and how we attained our clean/sober time.I would definitely suggest doing what you need to do(may be Detox,attending program and getting honest with yourself on the consequences of "business as usual".This disease is mental,physical and spiritual and needs your full attention!I believe down deep you know you have to surrender as you are reachiing out,some of us never made it to that stage.The fears of projection(how can I live without alcohol,thats all I know)what about my friends(are they really friends)I cant party again(believe it or not people in recovery do party,they just dont use)and all these thoughts can be addressed "one day at a time"A story I heard an addict share how she addresses her projection issues, she says"I tell myself Im going to get high tomorrow,but for today I just wont use.Twenty years later ,still clean and sober she lives her life like that!Whatever it takes.Didnt mean to be so lonf winded,but I do care and in my process of recovery my literature tells me in our 5th tradition,that an addict ,any addict can stop using drugs, lose the desire to use and find a new way to live.,Alcohol is a drug!!!!Give yourself a break and I'll keep you in prayer,Keep coming back,many here on this blessed site willing to offer their strength ,hope and experience.Tomorrow is Thanksgiving day,but for most here on this forum everyday is thanksgiving in recovery,please come and join us.Have a great holidayCool

MIKE F

  • | Post Points: 20
Top 500 Contributor
Posts 9
Points 165
jlkady replied on Wed, Nov 25 2009 8:05 PM

Thank you so much...I am going to make some changes in my life...I want it so bad and i'm going too...

  • | Post Points: 5
Top 500 Contributor
Posts 9
Points 165
jlkady replied on Wed, Nov 25 2009 8:09 PM

What is Daytox? I'm not sure if we have anything like that here....But i'm going to find out soon...

  • | Post Points: 5
Top 500 Contributor
Posts 9
Points 165
jlkady replied on Wed, Nov 25 2009 8:26 PM

Yes i want's the help so bad...The next 72 hours a gonna be tuff but i know this will be the easy part...Thank you again and i will stay intouch...

  • | Post Points: 5
Not Ranked
Posts 1
Points 20
edlenov09 replied on Fri, Dec 11 2009 7:05 AM

Hi

ok ...you know about the drinking is not good for you,you want to leave this bad habits so you just go through ...and take a solution ..

_______________________


  • | Post Points: 20
Top 10 Contributor
Male
Posts 2,394
Points 31,965

Jlkady,

Were you able to find the help you were looking for?

Living a happy, joyous, and free life by embracing the mind, body, and spirit.

  • | Post Points: 5
Not Ranked
Posts 4
Points 125
Marc1507 replied on Tue, Dec 29 2009 6:40 PM

Hi im also an alcoholic and have been for about 10yrs, i can try and help you as i know how you feel. I have no children because each women i meet alcohol ruins the relationship and so hasn't given me a chance.

Do you binge drink or do you drink continuously everyday?

  • | Post Points: 20
Top 500 Contributor
Posts 9
Points 165
jlkady replied on Wed, Dec 30 2009 11:44 PM

Hi and thank you for your reply... I pretty much dring everyday untill i get very ill...My body rufuses to allow and more alcohol enter it...Then i detox again for 4 or 5 days...Then i start to eat again slowly again untill i feel better...Thrn i start all over...So tired of this...I will drink for three days strait with no food at all...Smoke up a storm and then get very sick..My body is so tired and i feel like i am losing my mind half of the time...I am trying to gather some support and so badly wanna stop...It is very hard...

  • | Post Points: 20
Top 10 Contributor
Female
Posts 4,915
Points 46,130
paw replied on Thu, Dec 31 2009 12:07 PM

Well I won't say it's 'easy', but it really depends on how bad you want to get better.  Have you attended any meetings?  Talked to someone that you feel comfortable with?  

I truly believe that face to face meetings/support is crucial in early recovery.  Try a couple of meetings.  Listen to what people say, take what you need from it and leave the rest.  Find out what works for you.  You just have to 'want' to be sick and tired of being sick and tired.  

This is a great place for support.  Do some research, there are online meetings as well.  Keep busy, hang with people that are sober, drink lots of water and juices, eat healthy, maybe light at first.  

Remember if you don't drink, you won't get drunk.  Ann always puts it best, "You can always go back to what you were doing".  Keep coming back.  Let us know how it's going for you.

today is the next step in the journey......paw

  • | Post Points: 20
Top 500 Contributor
Posts 8
Points 85

Thanx for sharing

-----------------------

  • | Post Points: 20
Top 10 Contributor
Male
Posts 2,394
Points 31,965

Hey there -- welcome back.  Make the first step by looking for a meeting in your area.  There are a lot of people there that will be more than willing to share how they got sober.  The face to face meetings are extremely helpful in recovery, and many of us went day after day until we built our own support. 

Living a happy, joyous, and free life by embracing the mind, body, and spirit.

  • | Post Points: 20
Top 500 Contributor
Posts 5
Points 25

Hi,

There are some drug rehab centers for further advice.

 

  • | Post Points: 5
Page 1 of 1 (15 items) | RSS