dont know where to go for advice! so here i go! i live with a guy i absolutly belive that i love! the problem: he drinks and does pot! He has liver disease and refuses to give up the drink he will only cut it back. we argue about his drinking and the only time we dont argue is when my4 kids arnt here and we both have a few and sometimes alot. Before i met him i was an avid nondrinker and now i dabble when the kids arnt here! ialso tried speed for the first time last week and are considering tring an e in the near future! before i met him i was an avid drug free person! what should i do
Hi and welcome to the site. This is my opinion only, Get Out!!!! If you didn't drink and you didn't use before you hooked up with him, what's changed? You've all ready answered that.
I guarantee that not only will you get into this 'addiction' deeper but it can/will cost you a lot. Not only your dignity, but quite possibly your home, kids, job, friends, family and make you into one miserable person.
You can't 'fix' him. Let him own his addiction, and you get to some AA, NA, Alanon, or Naranon meetings. You need to see and hear both sides of the story. Posting on here tells me that not only are you concerned for him, but for yourself as well.
Anyway, that's my opinion and I hope you seek some face to face support, get phone numbers and use them. Let us know what goes on. You're worth the effort and your kids need a sane and sober Mom.
today is the next step in the journey......paw
Hello nicm! welcome to the board!
I can also only follow what Paw said RUN!!! You are in a situation that is dual fold.There is literature on NA.ORG(Who IS AN ADDICT)and also the Big Book(How it works)that will help you find out 'where you are in this picture:Learn about the disease and learn the tools you will need from both sides of the fence.We do not give advice but offer suggestions of what may or may not have helped us in our battles with addiction,co-dependance,recovery and 'living with life on lifes terms.It is good that you are reaching out early in this scenario of devastation.Keep coming back,let us know how you are doing .we are here all the time.I wish you peace.and strength...........
MIKE F
Welcome and glad you found us.
As a sober alcoholic and ex recreational user, I would tell you to get out of the relationship. Couples that do drugs together typically do not make it. If you really love someone, why would you encourage their drug usage and drug habits?
Concentrate on the kids. This isn't the life they deserve. Nobody wants to be raised in a household where drinking and drugs are the norm. These types of households typically have more fighting, abuse, health problems, lower education attainment, etc. Give your children the best!
I wish you well. I would really like to see you get away from the drugs, and look for someone that will help you become a better person.
Living a happy, joyous, and free life by embracing the mind, body, and spirit.
Hello!
I don't think this is worth it for you or the kids! Are you going to let one person mess up your life? You could lose your kids! If someone wants to use, that is their choice. He shouldn't be dragging you through the mud with him! In my opinion, it is sad that you can only get along when you are drinking/using. Recreational habbits turn into addictions. Think about the kids! Quit while you are ahead!
Peace be with you!
Ann
Nicm,
I am curious as to your age, and your b/f's age? Could you please share that. Thanks.
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