Please help me to help my brother. Guy is 29 years old and severely addicted to pills, you name them, he's on them. He has even been shooting them into his body. He is so lost and needs help. His mother got cancer when he was in 9th grade and he started smoking pot to deal with it... then, 6 years later, she passed away...he started drinking alot, partying and just not dealing with the reality of life.. he maintained, had a job etc, but was reckless. Our father passed away 3 years ago at 57 years old, from cancer, literally out of nowhere. Since then Guy has just gone downhill, and now he is so far gone that he has stolen from family, lied to everyone, and has literally lost everything and is staying on someone's couch calling me all day pleading for help, rehab, something. It will probably be too late for my brother by the time someone shows me the way, but I thought I would give it a shot. He has no insurance, and everyone has turned their back on him, rightly so I suppose. I'm his big sis just trying to do the right thing here. Thanks so much.. Michelle
We are in Northern VA / Washington DC area. I've thought about taking him to the ER and hopeful they can begin to medically detox him and then find him a rehab... i don't want to lose him too.... I can't even find a place that will take him,,, that's not $20,000 anyway
I would try calling your County Social Services Department for listings of Alchohol/Drug Rehab. locations that are funded for the uninsured, they are out there and available. Most likely, he will have to get on a waiting list and hopefully it won't be more than a couple of weeks. Just because he is uninsured does not mean he can not get help, you just have to go thru the proper channels and go to the facilities covered thru your county or state government. I am not familiar with Virginia but I believe most States have funded detox centers. Also ask if there is any grant money for your state or county, you never know. My son was in an inpatient detox back in June and there was County grant money available so it went very smooth. He got on a waiting list, he called in every day, by about the 8th or 9th day, they had an available bed. Your brother has to be willing to go, I hope you can convince him
I hope you can convince him to get the help he needs before it is too late. I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
Hello and Welcome!
You have entered the devastating world of CO-DEPENDANCE.I would suggest at this stage you contact someone who can get you in touch with a program for 'yourself"Al-anon ,Naranon,CODA, etc..to help you understand "that you are powerless over your addict,your life has become unmanageable.I know this doesnt help the idea that your brother is closing in on total devastation,but he has to also incorporate in his mind the same principle,he is powerless over his addiction.He could search out Narcotics anonymous,ALcohol ANONYMOUS programs and be 'willing' to surrender his life to the spiritual principles of these programs.He will have to 'want it" just as you can learn to "detach with love" to allow him to find a course of recovery.You will have to be strong and realize the best "help ' you can be is to "take care of yourself and learn the tools to work with.Have you spoken with your brother about finding a program?.There are walk in detox's.some sliding scale facilities that will help for original detox.If he is 'asking for help" that can be good.Keep coming back here ,we genuinely care,many of us have lived thru all the parameters of addiction that our loved ones or ourselves are facing. .Check your area for such programs.There are many here who will offer their suggestions on things that can help you.please come back.....There is a power greater than youselves that can restore you to sanity.Believe the message is Hope and the PROMISE CAN BE FREEDOM from active addiction(co-dependance)we are here day and night,not doctors or psychologists justa group of people sharing their strength ,hope and experience in an effort to reach the "still sick and suffereing' I wish you peace and hope to hear from you again!!
MIKE F
Hi Michelle, welcome to the site. Boy, I can't add a whole lot to what's been said. But I will stress the need for YOU to get some help as well. MikeF stated where to start to look. Alanon, Naranon, CODA, they all will show you the way to deal with not only your brother, but your brother's emotions, setting boundaries for him so you can better deal with any situation. Try NOT to enable him by taking drunk phone calls, money, etc. Make sure you're valuables are out of sight. Tell him you'll take him to meetings, doctor's appt., therapy, etc., but you will not give in to HIS ADDICTION. THAT'S HIS CHOICE and HIS RESPONSIBILITY.
YOU CAN'T DO IT FOR HIM. He has to get sick and tired of being sick and tired. When he reaches that point and asks for help, tell him you'll be there to support him.
Don't let his addiction run your life. Believe me when I say, there is NO ONE that wanted to drown in a bottle more than me when my husband died. Cancer, out of no where. Diagnosed and 5 months was gone. We had 35 yrs together. Soul mates. We were closer than we could ever have dreamed of being when we got married. We spent 24 hours a day together. Never argued, always laughing, and never got tired of each other. I was and still am absolutely lost, but I'm still sober. Your brother can be sober too. It just comes down to how bad he wants to quit.
Again, welcome, and I hope he's asking sincerely for help, not only for his sake, but yours. Check with some local churches, Salvation Army, Social Services, Sheriff's Dept, local hospitals, go to some meetings and ask there. As was stated, there is a place for him, you'll just have to look. Keep in touch with us.
today is the next step in the journey......paw
Hello GuysSister!
I' am also sending you some stuff. Check your conversations. This is what is listed under affordable treatment in Virginia from sober.com:
Nice job Ann!
I am definitely going to learn how to put things from one place to another on the computer.Great help see ya!
If he get on Welfare at least he'll have insurance and there are some places that will take that. There's also free options. I've heard that the Salvation Army has a good program.
My husband is an addict and went to a place in PA called Serenity Lodge. He's been there for 3 months.
I also think you should just call places and talk to them. They might give you ideas.
And... you might want to consider Al Anon to get you through this as best you can.
best of luck :) Hang in there.
Medmin, welcome and thanks for the info. The Salvation Army is a great organization. They make sure you qualify for their help, but when you do they go out of their way. Keep us posted on how you and your husband are doing.
I hope I put this is the correct place?? I just got out of "Roxbury" Sept. 1, 2009 this rehab is in PA too and if you don't have a ride to get to Roxbury they have someone to pick you up and than when your treatment is finish they take you back home. I heard some patients speak of how they was able to stay for free. I will give you the phone number and you could ask questions.
Roxbury Treatment Center it's in Shippensburg PA The phone number is 1-800-648-4673 or 1-717-532-4217. I hope this helps out please keep me posted..............
Welcome to the site. Keep posting. Clint
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