hey everyone mikef here..
something I needed to share and I know you'll listen.When i joined site about 1 year ago think i told you about my son Eric(23) and his dilemmas(heroin addiction,jail,institutions,death(od'ed 3 times, very close but made it) anyway.since november late 2008 he came home from jail with us to try and get his life together.we set some boundaries and life moved along.we would have liked to seen more enthusiastic responses from him toward worrk,programming etc.but i believe parents always may want things different than their children,(also as a recovering addict i wanted him to do more work in some kind of program to help himself,we still have different outlooks on that) he has not shot dope in close to 2 years and says he is clean (suboxene maintenance)but still says periodically he smokes pot and drinks alcohol.my perspective not clean as there is no such thing as using a little or just not using your drug of choice.anyway.we are all responsible for our own recovery and get there by the grace of God however.last couple weeks noticed his crowd had changed somewhat and he said he lent money,got ripped off,we had rift about"people places and things,blah blah..yesterday my wife checks our account and 5 checks missing,go online there is check cashed signed by eric madeout to cash..we got the other 4 checks back from him ,he said he screwd up and was going to pay us back etc(lips are moving,sound like lies!!)... we are now in prayer over our next move.he has issues with anti social behavior as well as drug use and i believe obviuously a stealing problem.I am just asking that my friends here keep us in prayer as we decide what direction we are going to take,i know from my Naranon program that he should be arrested and charges pressed.i also know that i have shifted all to the GOD of my understanding who will guide me in my decisions.i will have the courage to change the things i can and I will seek the wisdom to know the difference.i am strong in many areas of my life and weak in others(around my kids)I will not ever again let my joy be taken or the other family members as i try and control the situation and not get out of the way so my God can take over..i thank you guys in advance for keeping us in prayer or meditation(whichever you use to communicate with your higher power.) i am looking at this as a relapse not from a drug standpoint but from a basic character failing(which we all have)as our text says many of our symptoms were manifested long before our first drug.i am not trying to rationilze this situation as anything but serious and with an addict who is sick.thanks for letting me share from my heart.i'll keep in touch and in Gods hand we will walk forward..peace mikef
MIKE F
Mike, through your posts I have learned how strong you and your wife are. In not only the faith, of your understanding, but with your recovery program and what you two want for your kids as parents, but as adults too. As you know, I'm here as is the rest of the members anytime you need us. I support you and your wife in your decisions and actions through this and will keep you in my thoughts daily.
today is the next step in the journey......paw
Hello Mike F!
I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now. It seems like you know what you need to do. Pray and give it to God. I will say a prayer for your family. It is up to him what he chooses now. Let him take the responsibility for his actions. When he wants help, he will come forward. We are here if you want to talk to us!
Keep coming back!
Ann
I am sorry too, Mike. You know what to do. Pray and let God take control. All my best. Your family is in my thoughts. C
Living a happy, joyous, and free life by embracing the mind, body, and spirit.
Wow, I wonder if I will also be saying the same thing. That darn rollercoaster, I am tired and want to get off. I am now on the count down to what could be good or the beginning of another nightmare. My son will be released from prison, will he go to rehab? will he transfer his parole to where I live? and is that a good thing or a bad thing? I am trying to put it in God's hands and not worry about it. Has he changed? Can I trust him? Will my every waking moment be consumed with worry if I am not around to monitor him? A million thoughts race through my mind, does he know what all this has done to me and our family? Does he realize? The strain it has put on everyone his siblings, his dad. WILL HE EVER REALIZE THESE THINGS? Should I feel guilty for not wanting to go through this again? or for hating this whole situation? When will the drugs release him if ever? I too Pray to God and try to leave everything in his hand, if I didn't I would have lost it by now. I will PRAY for you and your family. God Bless
It's good to hear from you. I keep you and your family in my thoughts as well.
Hi Justthemom!
Do exactly what you said you were going to do! Give it to God. Give it to him, and don't worry about it. You have nno control over the situation. I will pray for your family too!
Peace be with you!
I think you should try to associate with others who are in similar situations. Try to find some Al Anon meetings. Like you said, you have to let go and let God. Try to find a prayer that is comforting to you, and get in the routine of saying it. It'll probably be more helpful then you think. Remember that you can only control yourself and nobody else. Take some time for yourself and reflect on that. A lot of people have been able to work the twelve steps in times like these and it has had a lot of application to their situation. I will be praying for both of you. C