Hi all,
I am really desperate now, I cant seem to do anything but drink- my husband drinks and that makes it all that much harder- I know I need to focus on me and my recovery-but I can't seem to not think about anything but drinking- when I'm home- I try to keep my mind off it, and keep alcohol out of the house- but then I go and buy some- I need ways to keep my mind occupied- what can I do??? I'm afraid I am going to die from this disease- any help would be appreciated. I am in tears this morning- scared to death...
Thanks in advance
Scooter
Hi Scooter,
When I first got clean I constantly obsessed over gettting high. That's all I wanted to do and all I knew HOW to do. I completely understand how you feel and where you're at. You have a choice today though. That's a gift within itself. Just keep in your mind that you do NOT have to drink. No matter what. What I did was go to 3 to 5 meetings a day. I made a lot of women supports and started hanging out with them. I surrounded myslef with people in recovery that were doing the right thing and took each day at a time. Sometimes I had to take one minute or one second at a time. Another thing that helped was working. Employment not only kept my mind busy, but also gave me self esteem and I started to feel GOOD about MYSELF for the first time ever. If you feel like drinking, call a support, ask them to go get coffe with you. Go to a meeting and share where you're at. I know that's what worked for me and all I can share is MY experience. Hope this helped and keep coming back!!!!
Much love,
Kerry
hi Scooter!
mikef here..i believe you need to be with people who arent using alcohol or any other mind altering drugs.you didnt say if you were doing program or not??keep comin back here and sharing whats on your mind.if you get to program it may send a message also to your husband,but even if not you are responsible for your own recovery.its not easy but trying to stay busy,adjust your lifestyle(its drastic) but its all about attitudes and behaviors.continue to reach out i'll keep you in prayer and check back see how its going.i sincerely wish you peace and strength!!
MIKE F
Wow, I'm right there with you. I HAD to quit, my husband didn't. You're llucky you can leave on your own. I didn't have any means to get out except to ask someone to take me. I still made 2 meetings a week, but even then my mind was consumed with booze at home. I walked the floors, the yard, I got literature at meetings, and a Big Book and read them over and over. I kept a journal of my feelings.
Get to a meeting, get some phone numbers and call people when you get down and out. Find something else to do besides get in the car and go to the store. Go to a library, gym, visit someone, ice cream shop, coffee shop, draw, paint, skip rope, dance, crochet, knit, wash windows, pull weeds, write a letter to someone, post your feelings here, play computer games, sign up for some free sample sites, bake cookies, make a cake from scratch, anything to keep your mind away from booze.
It can be done, millions have proven that. If you want to talk let me know, but keep coming back.
today is the next step in the journey......paw
I agree with all of the others.
You really need to have some sort of outside support. Whether it is family or meetings, you need to get yourself out of the house and away from the alcohol.
Cravings are normal. We all experienced them. This is why it was important for us to find some activity to substitute our time with. To this day, I still think about alcohol. The only difference is that I don't act upon it, and drink. All of this comes with time. Like Karebear mentioned, living life one day at a time is important.
Some of us started each morning with a prayer, and requested sobriety for the day. Before we went to sleep, we prayed and thanked God for giving us that sobriety. Others of us attended meetings and called sober friends when we thought we were going to drink. Some of us even substituted cravings with church, or volunteering. No matter what it was -- each of us has our own journey. That's why it is important to go to meetings -- so that you can hear everyone else's experience.
Thanks for sharing. Clint
Living a happy, joyous, and free life by embracing the mind, body, and spirit.
Hi Everyone!
I'm seeing a lot of great suggestions and it's good to see all of you!
Scooter, I wanted to add one more thing. Have you looked at going to a sober living environment? This may help to provde a stable, safe, and structured living envorinment for you in early recovery. You would have support and wouldn't be around your husband whom is obviously a danger for you to be around currently. Remember, you need to keep yourself and number one.
Clint, you make a good point on thinking about alcohol. I have a little over 3 years clean and still have thoughts of using and I know I always will. I'm an addict. Drugs come naturally to me. I just have tools and strenth today that I worked very hard to get and even harder to keep. Recovery is a gift and a blessing, but you have to do the work. It's not for the people who want it or need it, it's for the people who do it! Today it is easier for me to cope with not using and I have truly lost the obsession to use but it's all from doing work on myself and changing my ways of thinking and behavior. Over the past few years recovery has became a way of life and I go through the process naturally, but this doesn't come overnight. Keep coming back and know that you ARE NOT ALONE!
Well I've been sober for many, many years and everytime I go by the wobbly pop store, I stare. Coming home the other day, I said outloud, "Boy I sure would like a drink right now." I have no idea what prompted it, I was feeling fine, nothing had gone wrong or bad on the trip to the store, but as Karebear said, it's a natural thing for me to think of booze. Clint pointed out, he doesn't act on it. I know I CAN'T drink without getting into a major problem. And if I don't drink, I won't get drunk, and I won't have that problem. Simple conception, but it works.
Im new to this site, im a drinker,i go to treatment ,but its hard to stop drinking, its not a daily thing for me im not a all day drinker, just when i bored.
Hi Kashy, welcome to the site. I didn't drink every day at first either. In the beginning I didn't have problems when I drank. And I can remember some really fantastic times drinking. But...... That all changed over time.
And one day I realized that I was drinking 24/7. I remember one evening my husband asked me if I was on or off the 'sauce' and I told him off. He said he thought so and was glad. I had drank a almost a half gallon at that point. That's insanity........I hope you don't get to that point, but through the years of sobriety I've found that if someone is discussing drinking and how much or how little they indulge, they'll find there's a problem.
You might want to check out an open AA meeting. You don't have to speak, you can sit in the back and just listen. You WILL find that someone has a story to share that is a part of your story.
We're here anytime. If you want to talk feel free to contact me. Stop back and let us know how you're doing.
Find something to do when you get bored. Go for a walk, exercise, draw, color, read, research drinking and AA online, go to a meeting, call someone, anything to get you over the 'hump'.
Hi kashy! welcome to site,mikef here!
im not sure if this is old or new post but anyway....I agree with Paw that if you are debating issues about drinking there could be something going on.We are amazing people at rationalizing how we "dont really need to drink" we are bored.lonely tired ,etc(we can stop anytime)..Alcoholism comes in all forms,e.g. my mother was a closet drinker,she didnt think people knew(we would find bottles hidden) i had friends who would only drink a few times a year,but when they did it was total obliteration.It is the progression of the "disease" that is, how we say, cunning,baffling and incidious!My first debilitating experience was when i was in the 8th grade,we stole bottle of 546 pm blended whiskey.we would drink and then run around block to push thru our system faster.i was a drummer in a popular band and boy was I cool!(not)anyway they found me in the gutter foaming from the mouth ,i ended up coming to in an ice cube bath and was out of school for over a week.i was around 12.for the next 25 years i did everything to prove i wasnt an alcoholic.it was all a lie.i didnt surrender until 1984 by then a full blown addict using all mind altering mood changing substances,a mid level dope dealer with a bottom line of always drinking as a base.This is a mental,physical and spiritual devastation that usual;ly ends up in jails institutions or death.i basically made all three(was dead as a person) You have admitted "it is hard" so you are teetering on the idea something is up!!thats good,,maybe you can save 25-30 years of your life by finding out about yourself before you take off on a run that may last for ????i HIGHLY SUGGEST A PROGRAM(AA/NA) that puts you with people that are learning about their "disease" and working a program to help them "just for today' to understand where this can take you.Keep coming back and let us know how you are doin.Thanks for sharing your feelings,we genuinely care.peace mikef
Hi Kashy!
Welcome to this site! Your a drinker, and it's hard to stop drinking. Sounds to me like you know you have a problem. The hard part is changing. Listen to what they are telling you at treatment. If you want to improve your life, you will have all the tools you need to quit. There are other things to do when you are bored! Go to the gym,read,draw,paint,play a game,ride a bike, go for a walk, etc...... Believe that you can quit and you deserve to improve your life!
Keep coming back!
Ann
Welcome, Kashy. I would recommend checking out a meeting, or researching alcoholism a little more. I am here if you would like to talk. All my best, Clint
Hi...
Welcome young lady,to the family! We are a rough mix of people from all different avenues of life sharing their strength ,hope and experience with each other in a non-judgemental way in order to help each other stay free and clean from 'ALL' substances.We suffer from the disease of addiction,Mental,Physical AND Spiritual illness.Continue to reach out for help in counselling and whatever is available.Things are difficult at your age because of laws etc but do not let that stop you from seeking out what you need.There is a better life you just need to get some help to get you there..Please let us know how you are doing okay>>>