I stopped drinking almost 3 weeks ago. Now, I am experiencing some challenges in living without alcohol. Much of my social life revolved around drinking. Now, some of my drinking buddies are not being supportive of my quitting. They don't think I have a problem. I think they are possibly afraid to see their own. I am not sure how to be around people like this. I know I should drop some of these people and I am sure that will happen. However, I am bound to run into people like this again and again. How do all of you handle situations where you don't want to drink? I have told close friends and family that I am not drinking and they all know why. However, how do you explain your reasons for not drinking to someone you just met and may not want to confide in? What about people you meet through work or in other places where you really can't talk about recovery? I'd appreciate hearing any of your thougths on this, and on living sober in general. Thanks!
First of all it's YOUR CHOICE to tell who you want. You can't be worried about what others think. There's no need to tell someone you just met that you don't drink for whatever reason.
My family and friends know that I'm in recovery, however if I go out somewhere and drinks are offered then I just pick something that I drink, (non-alcoholic of course), and leave it at that. I've told many, many people that I don't drink and they've never questioned it.
It's important to tell any medical professional that you've stopped. I think your concern is how to live without the booze and I understand that completely.
I thought I'd never go to a dance again, never be able to sit in a bar, go to dinner, or get togethers where there was a big group of people with the usual BYOB and beer/set ups available. Believe me there is a great and wonderful life out there without it. No more hangovers, no worry with check points, no worry with how you're going to get home, etc.
And as Ann puts it so well, "You can always go back the way it was." Go to a couple of meetings till you find one you're comfortable with and get some face to face time. It's out there, you just have to reach out.
ps. Congrats on that 3 weeks too!!
today is the next step in the journey......paw
Hello!
It's as simple as saying, "I'm not drinking tonight." Most people will not question you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks! It is what you know. You should keep an open mind and try new things. If nothing works out, you can always go back to the way your life was before. Get something to drink before anyone can offer you something or just bring your own pop, gatoraide, water, coffee, tea, etc...
You don't have to drop them. You can slowly, start drifting away from them! Not all of these people are bad. We just need to adjust to a sober lifestyle without them. You can still talk to them, you just probably won't interact with them as much.
Keep coming back!
Ann
It really isn't a bad way of living. You go out, you find a drink that you like, and you still have a good time. I am rarely asked why I do not drink, and others may even assume that I only drink for special occasions. But regardless, I still make a point to go out with other people for events, and still have a social life. As I mentioned in another post, I have found non alcoholic drinks that I actually enjoy drinking. You can use your imagination and come up with a few. I like tonic water and sprite with lime, cranberry juice and sprite with lime, red bulls, etc.
Your friends may give you a hard time, but overall, they have to respect your decision. You are making a wise one -- because you are looking out for your integrity, your values, your family, etc.
It's not a bad way of living. I've saved a lot of money this way -- and never have to worry about DUIs, or the like.
Like ANN stated, give it a try. If we don't like sobriety, we can always go back!
Living a happy, joyous, and free life by embracing the mind, body, and spirit.
HI RS 73 MIKEF HERE!
CONGRATS on your 3 weeks it all starts with 'a day at a time'.when i surrendered in 1984 ,the first year was difficult because all my acquaintences(and you notice i didnt say friends) all used. i was drumming for a popular band and we played out a lot.i caught a lot of flak about being'too good for us now' yeah you'll be back,your no fun anymore,.etc...eventually i just drifted away from"people /places and things.....found a group of runners,started running marathons,got involved with my church and other situations where everyone wasnt always twisted.didnt happen over nite..i never had a problem letting people know "i dont drink alcohol"i basically just got kind of bored hanging with people after the first hour who were on ther way to incoherency(is that a word??)(can we remember)as all here said you dont have to explain yourself to anyone..work on your recovery"day by day"soon it can turn into years.i have no problem being around people who want to have a drink or so. maybe they are not addicts.unfortunately i am,they may be able to drink and maybe be okay.as we say we are allergic to drugs.its not how much we use but how we "react"..get a group where you can talk about "recovery" very important to share with people just like yourself as they will know where you are coming from..good you found this spot,this site is a blessing and a learning forum.Just for today know you dont have to use any mind altering or mood changing substance...keep comin back peace and welcome mike f
MIKE F
Thanks to all of you for your helpful advice and warm welcome. I really do appreciate it. I feel self-conscious about not drinking but I am beginning to realize that it's really just me making myself feel that way. There are millions of people in this world who don't drink for many different reasons, an no one owes anyone else an explanation. Your responses left me with a lot to think about. Thanks again.
People usually are scared of change. We've all gone through it, and we are here when you need or want to talk to us!
Great dude.3 weeks is a longtime.Keep it going.I feel u are not answerable to anyone other than your family and friends.You need not to answer everyone.Let them think what ever they want.
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carlapatric
Online Job--------Online Job
Thanks! And, Carla, you are right. If someone I don't know well is being pushy with a question like this and demanding an explanation, then that is rude behavior on their part. Rude questions don't really merit an answer. Thankfully, I am finding that most people really aren't rude like that and a simple, "I don't drink," or "I'm not drinking," normally does the trick.
I am looking forward to another sober weekend with my husband and friends! I appreciate the kind support here.
Hi RS, What I've learned is that we pick and choose most of our battles. People who aren't addicted have a hard time understanding those of us who are. Their normal reaction, when we quit, is, of course, we don't have a problem. I still go to bars, dance, and have a great time. I'm the one walking around with a BIG pitcher of water!! ~smiles~ And when people ask me what I'm drinking, I tell 'em and 'nope, it's not alcohol'. We can make all kinds of exuses, but I've found that the Bottom Line works best. I'm not drinking, simply, because "I don't want to", or " I don't drink".
As mentioned, change isn't comfortable sometimes. But the longer you stay sober the clearer your perceptions of the people who are in your life will be. And you will be one of many who thinks, 'God did I ever act like that'?, and 'Wow, I'm so glad I'm not drunk",
As for me, I've traded one drug for another, I drink a lot of coffee now! LOL, and I smoke way too much, esp. for the price nowadays. ~rolling eyes~
I haven't posted here in quite awhile, but I can tell you, it's a great group of people here. I get text messages and email check ups from time to time and this forum has played a major part in my recovery.
Brightest Blessings, Janice
It's always OK in the end, if it's not, then it's not the end.