WHO SETS YOUR STANDARDS?

I really enjoy the questions my mentor Dr. Randin Brons brings to mind in his "Express" blogs. He is a highly skilled coach and through his experience, posts information about the very essence of key items I had to come to grips with as I processed the journey of life recovery and learned to make the adjustments needed to live a very happy and full life without resorting to mood altering substances or behaviours.
I needed a major adjustment as to whose standards I lived up to. Who did I have to please? Through process and to get it, I had to learn to really love and care for the person whose standards I ultimately needed to meet.
"Who sets the standards you live by?

"If I get to pick what I want to do, then its play... if someone else tells me that I have to do it, then its work." -- Patricia Nourot

Are you continually struggling to accomplish what is expected of you? If so, stop to think for a moment: who holds those expectations?

Perhaps you're trying to meet the expectations of a parent or a teacher or other authority figures who may be long gone from your life. But many of us toil under the critical eyes of a vague 'somebody' who always judges that we've never done enough or done things well enough. Who is this phantom judge? And do we need to care about what they think any longer?

We find both our own power and happiness when we begin to set our own standards around what has heart and meaning for us."

"Doubt yourself and you doubt everything you see. Judge yourself and you see judges everywhere. But if you listen to the sound of your own voice, you can rise above doubt and judgment. And you can see forever." -- Nancy Lopez

Toady, as Nourot talks to, life is, for the most part, play. I love the last quote from one of the best female golfers to ever play the game, Nancy Lopez. It was this type of philosophy she took to the golf course, and following it, allowed her to see and realise her own potential and play to it. Golf and life are both games we want to play to our real potential! It is lovely to have times where you can really see forever!
Want to kick this around and gain some insights into setting your own standards? Email me at khbray@hopeserenity.ca in confidence with a phone number and appropriate time to call. Possibly a chat can help you become your own true judge!